She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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