been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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