It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
