If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
