i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
