I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize