god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We're like a lot better than the average bears
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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