He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
