I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize