I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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