my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
