If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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