Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
