Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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