Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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