I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
