I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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