That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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