fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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