yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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