Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The uberlube is also flammable
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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