I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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