that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
