You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
