I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize