my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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