Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
As shirtless as possible
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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