Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The air taste purple.
Randomize
