Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
