I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
