I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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