Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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