Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
