I look better un-naked...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
