you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
