Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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