I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
