If that was your dad, he is hot
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize