It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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