ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
