dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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