Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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