So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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