There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
