she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
