at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
