I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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