i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
