If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
