he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
