Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
