I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
