I'm going to jail i love you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
