Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
