I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
