first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
