i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
