im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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