Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
