halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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