He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
