you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
