Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
